I hope you understand!

I know I have to get away from you but it's not as easy as everybody thinks it is.
Every time the phone rings I think it's you on the other side telling me that you've made a huge mistake, that you were confused and you want me back.
And when I wake up from these dreams I realize that you are not there for me anymore and that life has to go on.
The problem is:
- I don't see a way of living my life without you around and that's killing me.
I don't want you to run away from me every time I try to walk towards you, I want you to talk to me and listen to what I have to say, no matter if it is about you or not.
I deadly know we're not a couple anymore and that you have no reason to be there for me when I want you to. The fact is that I don't know any other way of dealing with this mess if you're not there to help me.
I'm totally aware that it is difficult for you to understand it, but I still need you, no matter what it is gonna cost.
I love you and I'm sure I don't want to feel that way forever but I can't help it now.
I'm sorry for all the things I have done to call your attention.
I'll be fine one day but don't ask me to behave well now because I just can't.